The Ballast of the Light Brigade
Prior to my inner alarm clock's piercing shriek, I was a walking physical anatomy lesson. At my first degree Black Belt graduation I was 118 pounds and 5'9". Which is perfect by the social standards of this land I call Earth World.
Very much like the video game Mario World, Earth World has levels, races to be run, villains to be vanquished, and Damsels to be un-distressed. Winning on one level allows advancement to even more daring and imaginative contests to validate our existence until the inevitable end. Poof! Game over- restart at level one.
I attracted stress as if it was Mario coins. Anorexia was power- my body was the only thing I felt I could control in my insane life. I worked out to stay asleep, if I kept busy I couldn't hear what spirit was trying to say. Exercise has a component that many people overlook- it gets all your atoms moving. It causes you to vibrate faster. When we speed our physical rate of vibration what happens?
All the other levels of existence begin to acclimate to the new pace challenge. Emotional and mental issues that have been conveniently tucked away in our cellular structure get bounced around so much they eventually make it to the surface. This is a new level in Earth World to play, a whole undiscovered set of parameters to maneuver around. This level of the game was where I learned that being filled with adrenaline 24/7 would eventually crispy fry me like a hot wing in oil.
As I worked on finding the Golden Chalice of getting my behind out of spiritual bed, I noticed a funny event occurring in my body. Not funny ha-ha but funny as in dear God who is that bloated person in the mirror? Where did my muscles go? Why am I out of breath walking around in a mall? Lands of mercy, I look just like Aunt Margarine, I mean Margie.
Gaining weight ran a parallel path to my spiritual awakening. The higher spiritually vibrational I became the heavier physically I was. Clearing emotional and mental issues left me energetically clearer and lighter. However it seemed as if I was placing weight in my body like ballast to keep me here so I wouldn't just float off into Spirit World! And, it's stuck like glue.
Getting larger spiritually equaled growing bigger physically. I barely noticed this phenomenon for three years. I chose not to pay attention. The ballast, however, waits for no woman's awareness. It has decided that now is the proper time to correct the imbalance. There are many lightholders in the world today that are experiencing the same situation. I think it is high time we figured out a proper solution by understanding why it is happening.
Ballast- what is it good for? Let's dissect the definitions as it applies to us spirit folk. Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines ballast as-
1: a heavy substance used to improve stability and control the draft of a ship or the ascent of a balloon
Being the enthusiastic player in Earth World that I am, there is always a class or two where I can learn to improve my game. Every class has its differences, but the similarities are astonishing. There is always a raising in vibration followed by the inevitable eating of the Ballast Food. Baked goods, chocolate and chip and dip disappear while whole foods such as carrots turn ugly brown. One guru of meditation sends his apprentice for Burger King Whoppers after all day sessions so his students can drive home without spatial challenges.
Eating a meal heavy with meat is encouraged after intense energy therapy. Occasionally (more than I like to admit) I will eat at a fast food restaurant just to lower my vibration if I am feeling ungrounded. Eating heavy calorie laden food has helped me to be more comfortable here in my body. As my energy balloon ascended I anchored in the only way I knew how.
Physical ballast allowed me to gain in other ways. I hadn't realized that I was free floating all over the map. Ungrounded, I was a walking breathing poster child for the "So spiritually minded but not any Earthly good" Gang! Ballast provided stability in my over complicated life. I stopped. I stopped doing and being and behaving and caring about the trivial. By not spending hours every day exercising, food analyzing and control seeking, I had plenty of time to devote to other pursuits.
Meditating provided precious insights that could be gotten no other way. Tai Chi and walking didn't meet my meditational requirements as I needed to sit down and practice my shut ups so my brain would turn off. The longer I sat in practice, the more I liked not moving. Letting inertia take the helm of my life could have been my little way of showing my atoms who the boss of me is. They were not going to vibrate any faster than I wanted them to. My life slowed to a pace that was for the first time in this incarnation, well, almost serene. Memories that had lain dormant began to come forth as I began a real relationship with my true self. I was expanding in every way.
Definition #2: something that gives stability (as in character or conduct)
By delving into my core issues I was able to fully understand my fear and obsession with weight. As a developing teenage woman, I brought to myself many relationships to see where I needed healing. Being called "Thunder Thighs" and "Hippo Hips" by my first teenage love was painful. Family members as well joined in the play. At that level in the game all I wanted to do was survive with some of my lives intact. Seventeen years later, I was still trying to gain their acceptance.
Not only did I use anorexia as a tool for self love, I used it as a weapon against others. As a thin person I was judgmental and shallow. I felt that large people were weak, no self control, lazy, and most importantly undeserving of love. When that bomb went off in my awareness I dropped the need (with time and healing) to keep the lesson. I was the toxic person that needed to go, and thankfully that part of me did. Growing in size allowed me the chance to develop compassion. The character in my heart is now one of Namaste- I see the spirit in you, see the spirit in me, and know us as one spirit. This is a rather large gift that could not have been received in any other way.
Definition #3: gravel or broken stone laid in a railroad bed or used in making concrete
Americans biggest business nowadays is the credit industry. Instead of manufacturing goods (i.e. doing something physical), we actually borrow money for stuff other people make. We are a population that collects knickknacks and toys that make us briefly happy to surround ourselves with visual data that keeps our minds busy so that we don't hear our inner voices. How can anyone listen to their truths when the Hummer next door is running and the television is on? The answer is- you can't, and that is the point. Some of us who are on the spiritual fast track have purposefully slowed down by dragging along our material ballast.
Clutter is an energetic drag, which sucks the life out of every living thing nearby. If all your energy is being used to protect yourself from energy vampires (human or otherwise), then how much is left for you to live on? Having ballast is like tying a bowling ball to your legs and attempting to walk. Eventually, most people would give up, tire out, and sit down with a bag of potato chips in front of the television.
Not only did I gain physical weight, but my house became very, very tiny. I had accumulated trinket gravel to make energetic concrete to use as shoes so I would not go anywhere! With a mortgage, car payment, credit card bill, utilities and the like, the only place I could afford to go was inside. Becoming aware of this modis operandi for grounding, it has been easier to give my excess away. Paring down my life means less consumerism for America and freedom for me.
Definition #4: a device used to provide the starting voltage or to stabilize the current in a circuit
We are the light of the world. People that bear the name Lightworker have been branded by spiritual lightening. This enlightened spark kindled the flame that flashed brightly enough before our eyes that we awoke from our slumber. The voltage that is produced by thousands, if not millions, of light beings electrified this level in Earth World. As we enlighten as a race of beings in Earth World, this reality we call home grows brighter. Light carries more energy than darkness; we have literally increased the amount of quantum energy in relatively small space. Earth is not that large when you think about it. If you placed a 100 watt light bulb in a plastic box, eventually the heat from the bulb would melt the box- unless it had insulation and protection.
Excess weight is energetic insulation, protection from the massive energy explosions and transmutations that have been occurring in Earth World in the past ten years. The hara lines of today's light beings are enormous compared to ten years ago. We literally generate, conduct and transfer incredibly large doses of high vibrational energy. Energy enters our bodies through the faster moving spiritual layers, down through the slower mental and emotional bodies, and then penetrates the physical via our chakras. If it is moving at a speed our bodies cannot easily assimilate, we will have unpleasant physical reactions. I know I certainly don't appreciate bad body days. Slowing this powerful energy provides time for absorption at a more reasonable and sane rate. The ballast of the dense fat layer provides stabilization of the energetic currents that are in circuit loops throughout our energy bodies.
If a lightworker opens more rapidly than the body, mind, emotions or soul can handle, cracking open like an egg is an all too common option. I shudder to think how many starseeds, incarnate angels and light beings are on Prozac due to instant awakening. Circuit breakers such as mind numbing alcohol, drugs, sex and food unfortunately are used by those who do not have an understanding of the reason they are so miserable. Incoming energy can blow internal circuitry in a nanosecond. Jumping the planet is not an option, so leaving for short daytrips is a compromise. Excess insulation can be a safe guard against stepping into the deep fryer.
Even as I bitterly complain about the excess adipose tissue, I know that it is here for a reason. It is helping me move through this level. Once the lessons that an issue provides is learned there is no more need for it. Or, so goes the theory. Now that the reason for gaining ballast has been revealed, the healing can begin. We are incredibly intelligent beings, who, for better or worse, design our lives by choices. Do we really need to anchor ourselves into the physical to help us to stay here? Are there methods we can incorporate into our awareness that will keep us connected so that the need for ballast can disappear? I believe the answer is yes.
1.Learn to ground and stay connected to Earth World. By learning to hold the hara line in place, keeping it in cohesiveness by repairing and staying in emotional stability, we can remain grounded. Having all your chakras aligned and etheric layers vacuumed and evened out will assist with this enormous task.
2.Rid your life of toxic energy. This means people, jobs, attitudes, thoughts, non-organic food, bad air, and lifestyles- anything that drags your energy into stagnancy. Heal your core injuries at the quantum level to make space for cleaner energy.
3.Meditate. Just being in the oneness will raise your vibrational rate at a pace you can easily assimilate. Attunement happens when we are open to receive. Your guides are waiting for the call to help you in any way they can. Let them do their job.
4.If anxiety, food cravings, sleepiness or any other symptom of depression occurs ask your guides to slow the incoming energy. If the use of any numbing devices is being used, reevaluate your standard of living.
5.Build energetic and spiritual protection any way you know how. I ask that a cloak of fine etheric woven metal be placed over my entire body. It is feather light, like elfin thread, and at every knot intersection there is a crystal programmed to only allow the highest vibrational energy through. Place your entire auric field in a golden orb, intending it to deflect lower vibrational energy. If you are a healer, then use what you know to repair yourself often.
6.Native Americans have "give aways", where they take what they love but no longer need and gift them to others. In this way a piece of themselves will always be with the person they cherish. A cluttered home is indicative of a cluttered soul.
7.Get out of debt. Money in your pocket is money that is still yours. Debt produces worry, worry bakes cookies. Or, buys Vanilla Swiss Almond Haagan Daz ice cream.
8.Make exercise a priority. My soul overflows with gratitude when I am active, so much so that my eyes leak while I yogacize. Activity makes your atoms move faster, which keeps the flow organized. A body in motion stays in motion, an inert body remains lifeless.
After deep spiritual awakenings, I became okay with being here because I know why I came here in the first place. So, no more space cadet actions, I'm an earthling for awhile. I am willing to let my ballast leave, and I am strong enough to live here without it.